spoonful of grace footnotes in the life of a teenager with a helluva lot of spunk, and only a spoonful of grace

It has to be done, so I figured I'd get it out of the way in the beginning. I have to talk about the jersey shore.

Can I first say that this show makes me both fascinated and concerned for the future of both Jersey, and the United States? It's like a trainwreck, or a puppy being punted - you can't look away. There's two sides to this show. You either hate Snooki, or you love her. There is no in between, and hating her or loving her determines how you feel about all the other cast members.

I, personally, am on the abhorring side of things.

First of all, she is a midget (don't get me wrong, I love the little people, but not when they refer to themselves as fresh to death and feel like grandmas when wearing clothes that cover more than 20% of their boobs). I think she's 4'8". According to the bible (wikipedia), people under 4'10" are legally midgets. And bad news Snooks, the 2 foot poof (I didn't know they made Bump It!s that big) doesn't count in the height category.

Second of all, she isn't taking advantage of her poof. If I had that poof, you can bet I'd be smuggling all kinds of shit in there. Punch me in the face at a bar? Whip the switchblade out of my poof. Problem Solved Guidette Style.

And finally, finally. She's not even a guidette!! She's Chilean! I should sue for false advertising! To be fair, JWoww isn't Italian either, she's Irish and Spanish, but seriously, her last name is Farley, who was she kidding? As for Snooki though, I want some good Italian Drama (Real Housewives Worthy, PLZ)! This is the most upsetting fact of all. My heart was crushed.

Where's a Real Housewives of New Jersey marathon when I need one?!

marissa erin